Tall Tara Versus The Weather WitchPosted: March 14, 2011
This is part of the Tall Tara Versus series. It is a diversion from the usual standard that write and is meant to be expressed in a more visual medium (i.e. comic) but since I have poor art skills, I decided to just write it. If anyone is willing to make a comic version of this for kicks, let me know. Now, on with our story.
It was a Monday. Our beloved heroine, Tall Tara, protector of that which is good and magnificent and master of the power of tallness, emerged from her deep slumber. She stretched out her arms and began her attempt to be productive for that day. She consumed her breakfast… or perhaps it was brunch… or lunch. She consumed her first meal of the day. As Tall Tara began contemplating what needed to be done for the day, she realized something: there was a mountain of dirty clothes in her laundry basket.
“Eureka! That will be my task of the day!” exclaimed our protagonist. Tall Tara was to bring her dirty laundry to the laundromat. So she gathered every piece of used clothing that was lying on the floor and hanging around wherever clothes can be left hanging and dumped them in her giant basket, consolidating all of her dirty laundry.
Yes I did say giant. You see, being tall means that one is a giant and when one is a giant, that means one needs giant things. Tall Tara has a giant basket for her giant clothes.
Finally, Tall Tara had all of the clothes in the basket and proceeded with her quest to deliver the dirty laundry to the laundromat. Little did our heroine know that things would not be so easy. That there were those who sought to hinder and stop her from completing her quest. As she exited the front door, she felt a presence appear behind her. You could say that Tall Tara felt the aura of a great evil suddenly apparate. Tall Tara’s senses heightened as she heard a voice utter the words,
“TALL TARAAAAAAA! IT IS I! THE WEATHER WITCH!!!”
Indeed, it was the Weather Witch. She wasn’t very tall. In fact, she was pretty short. No, wait. She was short. Her dwarfish stature was almost laughable had it not been for the fact that she was an insidious villain. One dared not laugh at her sinestry if one chose to stay alive. Her hair was short, pixie cut. It symbolized the shortness of her temper, but did nothing to augment said disposition.
“I shall prevent you from completing your quest with my wizardry! You will not be able to deliver those clothes to the laundromat! See how I make it rain!”
Only a person with so much evil intent, such as the Weather Witch, could laugh like that. Now, let me clarify to you dear reader that the Weather Witch cannot exactly control the weather. She is more like a weatherman/meteorologist except for two things. One, she is evil. Two, she can’t predict or forecast the weather. She can only tell you that it is raining or about to rain when she sees a large formation of cumulonimbus clouds and rain begins falling from the sky. Perhaps we should name her Captain Obvious instead, but I would not want to cross such a nefarious antagonist. Tall Tara, being a great heroine, is aware of all this.
And so the rain began. Drops fell from the sky, rushing towards the earth as if they were running away from the sky, only to plummet to their death. Tall Tara wanted to curse the Weather Witch but there was no time for complaining. She needed to quickly come up with a plan if she wanted to avoid getting wet.
“This is the end of the road for you, Tall Tara! Your powers of tallness cannot defeat me!”
I did say that Tall Tara needed to come up with something. Lo and behold, she did! On her left hand, our protector held the laundry basket. But on her right hand she was holding
“A GIANT UMBRELLA?!”
“Yes, Weather Witch! In case you weren’t paying attention to the narrator, I am tall! Being tall, I have giant things! Giant clothes, giant basket… GIANT UMBRELLA!!!”
The Weather Witch fell down on her knees, broken in defeat. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
As the rain drenched the villainous villain, Tall Tara walked away triumphantly with minimal wetness.
TALL TARA! YOU ARE VICTORIOUS!!!